Monday, March 05, 2007

A Letter to Mr Brent Hodgson, Makar

PATHOS, BATHOS AND PUERILE: ATTORNEYS AT LAW



Dear Mr Hodgson,My client, Mr Hugh McMillan, has instructed me to contact you with a view to winding up your joint correspondence. Having been shortlisted in twentieth place for the Drumsleet Tech College Poetry Prize (special no-cash award category) he now feels that he is too mainstream to bother with you. Whereas once he may have been pleased to idly exchange bitter little fripperies he now clearly has a duty to cement his place in the establishment of POETS and MAKARS, renewing the CULTURAL BLOOD of our nation. As a mark of his meteoric rise he has been invited by MR TIM DOWD to read at a conference in the University of Drumsleet in May in a five minute slot attractively named OTHER LOCAL WRITERS. Similarly when his new book is launched at the end of that month, McMillan has the honour of reading fourteenth on a bill headed by the famous MR TIM DOWD. So you must clearly see, Mr Hodgson, that he cannot have further truck with you, for fear of damaging his newly established status as one of the best poets ever seen in his postcode. He has high hopes of following in the footsteps of TIM DOWD and other famous MAKARS, and being seen to receive your pock-marked and smudged little letters brimming as they are with acrimony and envy can only be detrimental to these ambitions. He wishes to let you know that he will return your correspondence separately, along with the voodoo dolls you made of other regional writers.

Yours Sincerely,Mr Abraham Snitch

1 comment:

Kevin Williamson said...

Many years/decades later I still miss the thud of Hodgson epistles on ma Union Jack doormat and pleased to hear he's still making a nuisance of himself. Will seek oot yer klecktion when is.